A Friend Told Me...

"Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be."

Our Deepest Fear

by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

A Retreat with The Trinity

Today's retreat organized by Church of the Holy Trinity was mainly for the Cathecuments of this year's RCIA batch. It was held at St Anthony's Convent and conducted by Sister Elizabeth ( a Connossain nun).

It was was really memorable for a couple of reasons.
First, I made some new friends.
Second, the lessons that came out of it really got to me.

It started at 8am, but I had made it there at about 930am (because of reasons beyond my understanding), just before the first break at 10am. So, I waited for awhile before Aston and the rest of the gang came out.

Ok, enough of the minute details. There were 2 very significant lessons I got out of this retreat:

ONE -
I learned to see that in a retreat, u must really 'R E T R E A T'; take steps back and look at the bigger picture. Most of the time when we are facing problems or when we are too emotionally involved, we become too focused on the immediate set of issues.

We then forget to see the bigger picture, and so, we find it hard to seek a solution. So, sometimes, we need to take a few steps back, to let the problem disappear into the vastness of the larger and much wider vision - and then perhaps, there lies a solution.


TWO - I learned that the one God, have always been 3. I mean, I knew this all along, but never really got an iconic image to put it all together until today.

This painting by Andrei Rublev, which is now after some explaination by Sister Elizabeth, exuberates a very significant beauty and meaning to me:

Andrei was particularly inspired from a story in the Old Testament - Genesis 18:1-15 - which was the very beginning of the Bible. So, the existence of the Trinity was already reflected in the old testament!

So, what can you see from the picture? Can you tell who is who - Who is God, Who is Jesus and Who is the Holy Spirit? It's really all right there!...



Ok, God is on the Left, placed just below the house of "many mansions". Jesus is sitted just below the "Oak of Mamre" ( A symbol of the tree of life and a pointer to Calvary) - under the wood on which he died on. And the Holy Spirit, positioned under the mountain - a place of encounter with God.

There are many other messages in this image. But I guess, the important thing is that it gave me a sense of what the Trinity meant, and how it does not put God in a hirachical position of supremacy.

Because the Trinity God brings about the behaviours of openess, relational, colallboration, welcomness, partnership, inclusiveness, community consensus and dialogue; it takes away the singular, vertically dynamic existence of the God we grew up with.

Do not be mistaken. It's not that THAT is wrong. It's just a different way to looking at and to experience things. It re-freshes a perspective that Catholics have always known, but I believe, most never realised.

Like what Sister Elizabeth said, when we start each prayer, the trinity is already there - We pray in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit... - and as we end each prayer, the trinity is there again.



Ok, I'm gonna go off track now and show you a very cute girl I met!



Hahahhaa.... That's Chyenne at the back! Cute right!? She studies at SAC where the retreat is, and She's so mischevious...
From left to right: Chyenne, Casey ( the Dad), Vincent, and Bro Aston.



And here, she tries to make a funny face... :)
I have to give it to her...She sure lights up any gloomy day.
Ok, I just had to show how cute she is. Sings well too!


My child is so going to St Anthony's Convent.
(But if it's a boy, he's going to be sent to a soccer academy in England or Japan - Start them young!...hahaha...ok, this is a topic for another day.)

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else."-C.S Lewis

Mumbai: Now Closer to Home.

After all that has happened in Mumbai, I think many Singaporeans have felt that it has now become much closer to home. It took a death of one of our own to realise that the world is pretty much smaller than we all thought.

We all know that this murder was committed by extremists, rallying their cause using what we see as innocent victims. But in the eyes of these extremists, they possibly see the innocent as infidels - either you are with me, or you are against me.

As what Herbert Butterfield said, "...But the greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of self-righteousness -- each system only too delighted to find that the other is wicked -- each only too glad that the sins give it the pretext for still deeper hatred and animosity."

I think what he said was in the context of cultures, politics, governments but it could well apply to this context of terrorism.

And this really reiterates our Government's constant guard against these forms of terrorism.






Side track alittle: For one thing, I really do like the short clip on the MRT that we commuters view when there are no other forms of entertainment. It's about the recognising of anomalous or suspicious characters on the MRT, and the precautions to take when they leave dubious parcels behind. Leave Nothing for granted. I think it was pretty well done and the message went across quite clearly. *clap clap clap*

Forgive me for quoting an Iron figure, that many relate to as soul-less. Stalin once said (adapted), "The death of one is a tragedy, but the death of many, a statistic..."

I find this to be very true. Especially, when the papers forget that there were another 195 others who had died in the killings. Not that I am not sympathetic at the death of Lo Hwei Yen, and my deepest condolences to her family and friends. But what I am saying is that, she is one of the many who had perished in innocence, and the media had taken her National identity, to turn it into a mass sympathy rally. Oh well, like what I had learned, chaos and proximity makes news.

I just hope, in all naiveness, that the radicalism in religions come to an end. By what means? I really don't know. But when there is a good, there is an evil - that keeps everything in balance. So, if there is no more radical religion? what's next?


My prayers for the family and friends of all who have departed in the killings.

Company of Friends

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, adapted.


I had a wonderful and very meaningful time last night. It was one of our Catholic Youth Apostolate Alumni (CYAA) monthly gatherings - this month's host is Aston and so we were at his place - and the topic for the month is FRIENDSHIP.

It was a very meaningful session, as always. But it had more significance to me because of recent events - things that had happened and those that are happening.

There was a lot of self-reflection, which in many ways have moved me to re-look at the relationships I've got. I've always understood the importance of friends; but more so in times of need, that you see what you had achieved with life, with who is coming to your aid. Of course, this is only quantifying a qualitative experience.

Through this reflection, I've been very touched by the thoughtfulness of people and the love of those around me. For one thing, the CYA community had always offered it's love and respect to the individual. A kind of genuine concern that in this present day, is very hard to come by. I truly believe they are a gift from God. Love you all!

I have also realised, that I had neglected the feelings of others when they needed me. And I know what I need to do about this - seek forgiveness. I'm Sorry for not being there when you needed me.

There are others outside CYA that I am truly grateful for too. Of course there is my family, espcecially my Mum, who had always been the very rock in the family, and the one I had always relied on for comfort. Love you mum!

Then there is Boon & Wong, my OCS course mates who had been through thick and thin with me, and know my inside outs. They had always given their support in whatever I was doing, and though, on the surface sometimes we look like we are ignoring each other or making each other's life difficult, but somehow we really care for each other (it may be a man thing); bottom line is, they had also been there to catch me when I fall. Love you too brothers!

Then there are the people from St. Mary's! Incredibly supportive.

I'm sure I've not mentioned a few more here. Forgive me for that.



My dear brothers & sisteres, Do remember Me, for you are family.

"If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others."

- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

In Every Battle.

In Every Battle there is a plan.
One in which you put your hand,
Sometimes your heart feels that it may not,
But in your head, a drifting thought...

In Every Battle there are the Odds.
At times they make you gasp for air,
So lift your Will and fight till naught,
There is no shame if then is lost...

In Every Battle there is a Winner.
But what is victory and at what cost?
What does it mean for winning then?
If winning is still a losing end?

In Every Battle there is a Loser.
But what if loosing is not a lost?
A set back only in the sight of man?
Could vision be at the heart of plan?

In Every Battle there is a Gem.
Did you see a hero or a coward in them?
Or have you opened your eyes to a side of you?
What or Who have you discovered then?

In Every Battle there is a War.
Sometimes the big map we ignore...
What is this fight we are fighting for?
This you seek, God for more.

In Every Battle there is Hope.
Sometimes we cry, we laugh, we joke,
We pray for all that we knew...
But often we live because we hope.

In Every Battle there is an End.
To which it stares into other lands,
There is a battle in everyday,
For each battle's end, is the beginning of another.

Second Chances.

Do second chances really come by?

I look at the situation, and think probably not. You know, sometimes you wished things were really different.

I wonder, how much of a difference I could have made? Would it have changed anything?

Second chances don’t always come by. Obviously, there are days that you think you would have dropped everything to give it another shot.

All you want, is for that moment in time to Freeze. That one shining moment.

Some people say that I wouldn’t understand how it is like to love someone for 10 years, and to have it come back the same way. I did. For 11 years. Something these people will never understand.

For one thing, they will never understand what letting go is like. To love, and not posses.

A second chance? Perhaps. But not today.

The Puzzle Theory

The Puzzle Theory is something that I came to realisation after a break-up that I had just experienced.

Well, because of this recent experience, I'll explain it in the context of a couple/lovers/Eros.
But in reality, I would say it would fit into any relationship structure.


There are 4 scenarios here, which I will explain. Perhaps, it will relate to some people more than others:

1) The Perfect Fit
Don't you just feel that some pieces of a Puzzle are really a perfect fit? They slot right in and then stays there. No matter how you shake it, it doesn't really move. The Perfect Fit.

2) A little Effort
Some pieces just don't fit in quite right. But all you need is a little effort to force it in. To fit it in.
And there you have it! Not a perfect fit, but a fit non the less.

3) Not At All
See, some pieces were just not meant to be together. No matter what you do, they just don't fit. No matter how much you try, they simply can't fit in.

4) Too Much Space
At some point, you thought this piece was well placed. It slots in. Then you realised there is so much emptiness.


Well, what do we get out of all these?

Let's just say, regardless of what has happened or is happening, there is always a piece there that will fit us. Is either you try working on it, or if it doesn't work out, then take a step back and look at the big picture. The Puzzle is really huge. With many pieces available, I am sure we'll find one that fits.


Many Blessings!